- the game will take place over three dinner shifts: friday night, saturday night, and sunday night. daniel and alison will play as many rounds as can fit into said shifts, depending on customers, managers, coworker issues, and kitchen emergencies.
- each round will be played to ten points, a point being awarded to the answerer of the question in the event of a correct answer, or to the asker of the question in the event of an incorrect answer.
- a shift may be left in the middle of a round, but not in the middle of a question.
- there is no set time limit to how long the answerer may take to answer the question. if he or she doesn’t know the answer, he or she will admit it within a reasonable amount of time.
- in the event of an ambiguous or semi-correct answer, todd (a waiter) will decide if the answer should stand. for example, if alison asks daniel for the name of homer simpson’s half-brother, and daniel says “herb” instead of “herbert powell,” it is up to todd whether or not it should be counted as a correct answer.
- score shall be kept on the dry erase board in the waitstation, using fake initials so that todd will not know who is winning.
- no outside research may be done between shifts. questions and answers must be, as daniel said, “from the noggin.” there are no rules about the questions that may be asked. everything is fair game.
- the game will end with the last round of the sunday night shift, unless the game is tied, at which point an additional round will be played. whoever has won the most rounds at the end will be the winner.
- the loser must make the winner a trophy. the only rules governing the making of said trophy are that the trophy must bear the words “winner’s name here is so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean, S-M-A-R-T,” and that the loser must make a trophy that he or she would enjoy receiving him or herself. there will be no lame trophies or trophy sabotage.
this game will, you understand, take place while daniel is cooking steaks and fish and making salads and i’m opening bottles of wine and taking away empty plates and saying “thanks, you guys have a good evening!” i am so going to win.