nevermind. I don’t like knowing who won, because it was all the wrong things. whatever.
today I ate lunch with a whole bunch professors, of the physics and astronomy and computer science persuasions. they’re all geeks, but that’s okay because I’m one too. still, there was something almost not real about my life at that moment, being the only kid at a table full of conversation about the meaning of trig functions and whether or not it’s forgivable to mix up madeline l’engle with ursula k. leguin, making fun of the people who grade my midterm exams and letting them make fun of me. and then we walked back to the science building together, where I spend the afternoon working in the research lab alongside my astronomy professor. so I was very mixed up.
someday I suppose I am going to be one of the adults, grading midterms and writing lesson plans, and I suppose if I’m lucky I’ll have a whole bunch of geek friends who will go to lunch with me. but I hope I don’t remember thinking this, because I hate watching my life go in circles, even when I see it from the other side. (r)
I just want to know who won. is that so much to ask?
my wrists are all noodle-floppy from weight lifting, so I’m going to stop typing now. (r)
I don’t really understand why wet clean laundry is so unpleasant, since dry clean laundry is one of the nicest things known to domesticated humans, but there it is.
I am out of quarters, so my laundry is going to have to rely on open windows and march breezes for its pleasantness today. the fun thing about running out of clean clothes is that you get to wear things you normally wouldn’t, otherwise, so while my three weeks’ worth of dirtyness was spinning in the basement, I was cavorting about my room in shiny turquoise pants and a skimpy cotton tank top.
maybe not cavorting exactly, but whatever. now there is no room to move, because both beds and about half the floor are covered in clammy damp fabric. it’s like living inside a washing machine that finished its spin cycle an hour ago and has been waiting for the negligent launderer to come relieve it of its burden.
being a coin-op washing machine must suck. (r)
every time I buy stuff at the drug store I wonder what it says about me. today I thought I was telegraphing college student on break! just a little embarassingly much, but I also had an unfair advantage since I knew I was on break even before I saw the of my basket. the cash register dude scanned it all through, expressionless enough that I could believe he wasn’t bothering to notice anything except the location of the barcode, but I wonder anyway. I know if I worked at a job like that I would have to make up some people-profiling games pretty quick to keep myself entertained.
breath mints and a pack of marlboro lights: wanted to quit, but couldn’t and settled for self-delusion instead.
two candy bars, two packs of gum, a fashion magazine, and a wedding magazine: divorced with kids, getting remarried.
disposable cameras, sunscreen, and a bag of lifesavers: going on vacation, taking a plane to get there.
you see? and god, how are these footnotes, hm? (r)
…however I do not have blue hair, and I am not a finalist at sxsw. so I think we see where I fall on the coolness scale. and I am off to make up a whole lot of stuff about buddhist women and hope that the professor doesn’t know I have no idea what I’m talking about, so I think we also see where I fall on the academic scale. I’ll do my best, though. (r)
it just occurred to me that I live in a different time zone than bluishorange. so I can post on saturday and have it show up on friday, and soon the web will be all full of time travel paradoxes and good stuff like that. because we can always use another way to get lost on the internet.
I think time machines should be used for things of smallest consequence, because those are really the interesting parts of life when you come right down to it. so I could go back three hours and watch the flow of expressions across my face when I looked in the mirror and realized I am so happy right now that it terrifies me.
…or maybe I would go back to yesterday, take myself to tomorrow, and skip this dumb assignment. (r)
