little tumblr-sized thoughts I’d write on tumblr if I had one (which I do, but there’s nothing there, and I only got it because I didn’t want anyone to take “bluishorange” before I did)

Posted on February 13, 2009 by alison

1. Last week I bought one of those digital-tv converter boxes so I can still watch Lost* after my television has become obsolete. This week I checked my mail and found the $40-off coupon for said box, which coupon I requested a month ago. If I were 45 years older and a lot crankier I’d take that coupon to Target and ask the returns desk to give me forty dollars. Then after they refused to give me forty dollars, I’d write a stern letter to the digital-tv converter box people and ask THEM to give me forty dollars.

But I’m 30 and not very cranky, so I’m not going to do any of that stuff. Instead I’m just going to pretend that coupon doesn’t exist, as is my custom with all such things I’m too lazy to do.

2. Freebirds, what is the point of selling me this chocolate-chip cookie if I can’t open it. If I were 45 years older and a lot crankier I’d drive back over to your store and demand a different cookie, or my money back.**

3. I do not like spending the Friday before Valentine’s Day in an office setting. My coworkers get flowers, and I say, ooh, sweet, you got flowers, and they say thanks! And I feel like they’re thinking,*** I bet she wishes SHE’d gotten flowers.

What they don’t know is that I do not, in fact, wish I’d gotten flowers. I’m not into Valentine’s Day at all, and in fact I told my potential flower-giver that while I’m glad we’ll be hanging out on the 14th doing whatever it is we usually do, I am not interested in gifts or cards or plants or edibles of any kind, thank you.****

But there’s no polite way to dispel their hypothetical thoughts without sounding weird or going off on an unnecessary and impolite tirade about how lame V-Day is. So instead I just say ooh, sweet, you got flowers, and then walk back to my desk and put my headphones on.

4. The other day I was heard to remark, “Is it possible that I love my dog too much?” For those of you who think that it’s possible, I invite you to look upon her and tell me you don’t love her a bit too much, too:

She’ll be approximately nine in April, which will also mark her five-year anniversary of being my dog. I think she looks much happier now than she did five years ago, don’t you?

*Also Dollhouse! Dollhouse comes on tonight!

**I got it open, though, aren’t you glad?

***I am not what I think other people might think of me, etc.

****I said it nicer than this.

outside Target today

Posted on February 3, 2009 by alison

I used to be the kind of writer who would take a sight like this and try to connect it to some experience in my own life. But what would it be with this photo? That I went to Target to buy a digital TV and decided to save some money by getting the converter box instead, and now I’m $300 further from being homeless like this guy ha ha? That if that kid’s holding a Bible and talking about what I think he’s talking about, then that’s the kind of thing I’d have wanted to do in high school? It all sounds kind of dumb, doesn’t it?

Or maybe I could say blah blah the juxtaposition of this and consumerism, or blah blah I’m lucky to have a support system that would help keep me from this fate if I ran out of other options, or blah blah nuts to Christianity but if it helps either one of these people then good for them?

Nah, it’s all dumb.

this isn’t real typing

Posted on January 30, 2009 by alison

I’ve been thinking about how I do more photography than writing these days. Taking pictures makes me think about things in a writerly fashion, in the same way that breathing used to make me think about things in a writerly fashion. Sometimes I won’t think about things in a writerly fashion for days, and then I’ll go to caption a photo real quick and get into explaining the photo and all of a sudden I’m writing when I hadn’t intended to.

The difference between writing and not writing has nothing to do with typing or the forming of sentences, I guess. And the difference isn’t intent, either. It’s like when I sing things in falsetto I think to myself, “This isn’t my real singing.” It’s not real writing or real singing unless I say it is, except when I start doing it without thinking and decide it’s real afterwards.

If any of you know of a support group for people who make things more complicated than they need to be, don’t tell me about it because I won’t make the first meeting on account of I’m too busy overthinking.

So here’s what I’m going to do. Several of my friends are doing those photo-a-day-for-a-year projects, and I’m going to join in. The focus for me, however, will be writing as well as photography. I’m going to describe the photo or write about why I took the photo or write about whatever the photo made me think of, even if it’s totally unrelated. I may not post every photo here every day (especially on the weekends), but I’ll try to do it most days, and all the photos will be on Flickr.

Here’s the first one:

This is the frost that was on my car this morning. I usually park in a carport, but yesterday I parked on the street because someone was blocking the driveway.

My car’s really old by car standards-it’s a 1996 Acura Integra named Betty. I’ve driven Betty since 1999, long enough that I can’t get comfortable when driving someone else’s car or a rental. It’s kind of falling apart in places, but it still drives and it still air-conditions, and these are the two important things for a car to do in Texas. The ABS went out a few years ago, but that’s less important in Texas, so Betty and I are still rolling along.

I’ll probably drive it until it falls apart or I do.