right, jared. what i think is worrisome about the election is the fact that, like many a media debācle, we've been so saturated with information about it that it becomes next to impossible to even care anymore. i'm blocking it all out at this point, as i can't even hear the word "election" anymore without wanting to puke (unless, of course, it's in reference to the movie). and as little difference as it makes which of those automatons is president, it's ideally something about which one should care, at least a little. but, familiarity breeding contempt and all, that's an impossibility at this point.

it's funny, they try so hard to make us care, and we run in the other direction. like a stalker.

Whenever I'm asked to comment on this matter, I draw blanks. I guess this is because, at least in our supposedly evolved, fairly non-corrupt "first world" nation, Presidential ambition is somewhat removed from pure profit motive. Curious George and AlGoreBot aren't out to pillage the royal coffers and line their pockets ... which only makes the whole enterprise seem even more divorced from relevance, and more flagrantly an exercise in sociopathy, megalomania and dynastic progression. To denounce them as figureheads is an old racket, I know, but it seems to apply in many respects. Even less generously, I would go so far as to call them hood ornaments. Local politics, the justice system, education, commerce, the arts -- these, I understand; the Presidency, I think I stopped understanding when I hit puberty. And perhaps that's significant in some way. Sandbox, soapbox, ballot box?

in a weird, cynical, detached way I still think it's cool that they both lost in one way or another. but I am so sick of seeing them on the cover of every magazine.

and after seeing all those endless graphics of the florida ballots, I am jealous that they had david reynolds on their ballots and I didn't. just on general principle. I was never sure how much I really wanted to vote for nader and how much I just wanted to vote third party, but we only had green, reform and libertarian underneath the demreps.

how many third parties on the ballot are too many, anyway?

Anyway, in all seriousness... I know, I really should care, but I just can't make myself anymore. Hell, I hang out with a bunch of poli-sci majors, and even they don't give a flying fuck who wins at this point. The past couple weeks, I've just been doing my best to ignore it entirely. If they could just, y'know, let us know when we actually have a new president, and refrain from any other coverage of the matter until then, that'd be great.

I know, I know, it's supposed to be "history in the making," a textbook example of democracy in action and such. And it is, if you define democracy as a couple of entitled, pompous asses trying to win at all costs while at the same time spinning furiously about "the will of the people" and "the letter of the law." Hypocrisy abounds. I think that's what has really turned me off on the whole process, more than anything.

No matter which guy gets elected, nothing very significant is going to happen legislatively in the next four years. The deadlocked Congress and total lack of mandate and credibility for either man due to this whole fiasco will pretty much ensure that. At this point, my only personal consideration is that I don't want to have to listen to the any of the inevitable idiocy that would constantly be spewing forth from the potential Bush administration.

I mean, Gore will lie his ass off too, but at least he'll have all of the residual facts straight and sound good doing it. Which, I guess is actually much more dangerous, when you get down to it. Oh well, pick your poison I guess. At least Gore knows what he's doing, to some degree. He won't fuck anything up royally, whereas Bush conceivably could, especially foreign policy wise. At any rate just wake me up when it's all over, if you would be so kind :]

Oh, and I guess I shouldn't be complaining. This whole mess is really all my fault, since I was one of those foolish Naderites who helped cost Gore his precious election. That'll teach me to ever try doing something idealistic again.</sarcasm>

Worst election ever.

right. so, who wants to talk about the election?

Simon Birch has evolved into one of those magical trigger names among people I know, not unlike Timmy the Living Doll -- another phenomenon with which neither my peers nor I have had any direct experience, and yet somehow it has reached us, at right angles, bouncing around the hall of mirrors that is media commentary.

I realize that by conceding I've never actually seen Baby Geniuses, I risk losing credibility in whatever I have to offer. For what it's worth, however, I did see Simon Birch, which is essentially the same "small kid/big head" scenario used to manifest the intrinsic love we all share for cute little smart kids in glasses. In the same light, I believe there is an inherent joy residing in all our hearts for pet movies. It provides us the proper affirmation that our animals are somehow more evolved and able-bodied than the bag of hair lying on the kitchen floor they commonly appear to be. We watch pets on the big screen and toy with the thought that our very own pets may someday aspire to reach that level. It's similar to the pride a parent maintains in regards to his children. Except terribly terribly evil.

Perhaps just as importantly, will there be enough drinking-out-of-the-potty and "Well, you lick your own ass!" jokes to sustain what is probably an eighty-minute feature?

The trailer does a fairly good job of covering its own comedic ass, thanks to the deliberately over-the-top narration. Kids will love this movie, but through a little ironic packaging, the trailer tries to convince the over-twelve crowd that the movie isn't just another creatures-with-adult-human-speech flick. Sometimes I can't tell whether the tone of a trailer will match the tone of the film itself. And sometimes comedy built out of multi-layered irony just makes me sad. The real question is: will Mr. Goldblum play the zany but well-spoken scientist who discovers that, in fact, our pets speak english once we're out of the room?

when putting rocky and bullwinkle in the same category as mom and dad save the world and baby geniuses, i would assume that the reference was to the live-action version. same with inspector gadget. and see, i'd label the trailer simultaneously horrid and sinisterly amusing. i was laughing at it, really, as in "i'm so glad that i'm not jeff goldblum."

I was referring to the Rocky & Bullwinkle movie, but of course. I think it's a given that your movie will suck if a former Seinfeld cast-member is in it. As evidence, I submit Unstrung Heroes, North and Fathers' Day.

Well, any mention of Baby Geniuses is enough to send a palpable shudder through my body, at any rate. But... Rocky and Bullwinkle, cultural effluvia?!? I highly beg to differ on that one(I mean, come on, Sherman and Peabody? Fractured Fairy Tales? That's some funny shit, as far as old cartoons go). Unless of course you are referring solely to the horrible live-action film they made a while back. But I digress, as usual.