a word to the wise

Don’t ever put one of those little plastic roach baits on the bottom shelf of your bookcase behind some books where you think your dog can’t get to it.  You will come home at 2 AM to find the books on the floor and the roach bait missing, and you will tear your apartment to shreds trying to find the roach bait while doing a lot of useless yelling at your dog.  “What did you do? Where did you put it? Where is it?”  She won’t answer you, but she’ll follow you around happily while you search and search and think about what it would be like if she dies of roach bait poisoning.  Will she foam at the mouth?  Will she convulse?  Will it hurt her?  Could you get her to the vet in time?  How awful would your life be without her?

When you finally find the roach bait on the floor, intact minus a few little teeth marks around the plastic edges, try not to be too upset at your dog or at yourself.  Everything is okay, and you both did what you thought was best at the time.  Just make sure you put the other baits far, far, far out of her reach.