a moderate crisis

so the question becomes, which path do you take?

do you take the least-resistance, steady-paycheck path?  the one that will clear your credit history, pay your bills, make you comfortable?  you’ve been down this road before.  it did make you comfortable.  it kept you occupied, made you some friends, and prevented you from worrying about where the money would come from.  it will do the same thing this time, and this time, you’re already a few weeks into it.

or do you take (for lack of a better phrase) the path of most resistance?  the treacherous one, the lonely one, the one that makes sure you won’t have any money for a long time?  you’ve tried going down this road before, but it was a half-assed effort at best.  with a full-assed effort, you might succeed this time.  you might end up with some great experiences, some stories to tell, and a wider audience to which to tell them.  you could make a living doing something more important.  you could make a living doing what you love.

with the path of most resistance, you’ll almost certainly fail.  most people do.  but shouldn’t you do it anyway?  shouldn’t you do it before all you can do is wonder whether or not you would have failed?  shouldn’t you do it before you’ve put it off for years and years and eventually it’s impossible because you have car payments and a mortgage and you’ve become too comfortable?  too dependent?  too old?

writing this has helped me to realize that i think i already know what the answer is.  but i’m still asking.