here is a list of domestic issues ryan and i have talked about:
1. how he hangs his towels on the doorknobs. if all the doorknobs are covered with towels, how can i open any doors? what are towel racks for if not for towels?
2. how i think he should always be the one to take the trash out. in return, i will always gather it up and put it right next to the door for him. that’s fair, right? we’re still ironing this one out.
3. how he should unplug the iron when he’s done with it, instead of just turning it off.
4. how i should fold up the bag before i close the cereal box. if i just close the box, the bag inside is still open and the cereal will get stale. nobody likes stale cereal.
5. how washcloths should be draped over the side of the bathtub with the tag part facing inside the tub, not outside the tub. i’ll never remember this one.
6. how the toilet paper should come out over the roll, not under the roll. it’s a good thing i don’t care about this one, otherwise we’d have a problem.
7. how large stacks of shirts and pants on top of my dresser are a bad idea.
8. how i shouldn’t throw away newspapers or weeklies or apartment guides. sometimes there’s good stuff in there.
9. how all my laundry is washed in cold water all the time, and anyone who wants to put their laundry in with mine should accept this.
10. how he is always going to cut pizza with a knife or a pizza roller, and anyone who wants to eat a pizza he’s made should accept this.
11. how i think we should put all our food in the refrigerator. loaves of bread, microwave popcorn, cans of tuna, the aforementioned cereal, all of it should go in the fridge, okay? that way we won’t get bugs in the kitchen. listen, that’s how i kept the bugs away in my old apartment, and it worked just fine. i’m going to blame any kitchen bugs on the food we’re keeping in the pantry, i’ll have you know.
so far, ryan hasn’t caved on that one.
at some point i will stop expecting to see maude at the door every time i come back to the apartment, but i don’t think i’ll stop being sad about the fact that she’s not there. 37 days until i get her back!