2/11/2001

it’s occurred to me that when faced with changes i can’t control and am not happy with, my tendency is to counteract those changes with changes of my own, ones that i can control and am happy with. i do things like rearrange furniture and wear funny clothes, or, in more extreme situations, quit jobs and move apartments. it seems to work pretty well as far as helping me to feel as though there are things in my little world that i can do something about, no matter how tiny or unimportant those things may be. i’ve been doing this for quite some time, but i’d never realized until now what exactly it meant. hmm.

i’ve just gone and dyed the top layer of my hair dark blue. it’s still wet, so i’m not sure yet how it looks. thus far, though, it does not look too great. but there is blue dye under my fingernails, which makes me happy.