this year’s girl

So my friend Brad died last January.  I didn’t mention it here for whatever reason, but he died.  I’d seen him every March at SXSW Interactive since 2001, and since he lived in St. Louis we’d meet up there sometimes when I went to visit family. One night he took me to a piano bar, an awesome local cafe, and then a pancake house, and I didn’t get back to my aunt’s place until 3am.

A bunch of us had a sort of memorial party for him at SXSW in March, which I think was good for everyone.  It doesn’t solve the problem of how we’re all going to deal with Brad’s absence this March and the Marches after that, but still. It helped.

At 20×2 in March they paid tribute to Brad by showing this video from 2005, in which Brad answers the question, “What’s the word?” Even if you’re not the video-watching sort, you should watch this one.

Brad Graham – What’s The Word 20×2 v.5.0 from 20×2 on Vimeo.

I’m not a big fan of new year’s resolutions, either. I’m firmly in the, “If you want to start doing something or not doing something, just fucking start already” camp. But I like the idea of a year having a theme of sorts.

My plan to quit allowing my fear of failure to own me has been going relatively well, but I’ve got a related problem. When it comes to things I want to achieve, I always think I’m not good enough to achieve them. I think that someone else would do it better, or someone else will do it first. Or when I look at the things others have done, I think, “They did that, but I never could.”

So my theme for this year is going to be, “Why not me?” Whenever I start to think that I won’t be good enough to achieve X or Y or I don’t have the right stuff to do something well, I’m going to stop and ask myself, “Why not me? Why can’t I be the person who does it?”

Because I already know the answer to that question. The answer is that there’s no reason why it can’t be me. It absolutely CAN be me! The perfect person to get something done is the one who does it, and does it well. And if I want to, I can be that person.

Thanks, Brad.

2 thoughts on “this year’s girl

  1. You both got me all teary. Thanks for sharing the video and your own journey as well. Have a great year following your phrase!

  2. Awesome. I really like that idea and I might incorporate it into my own ‘resolutions’. I too think that if you want to start doing something new, do it whenever you want. But I also feel the year’s end and beginning is a powerful symbol and I like to reflect on the changes.

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