good luck moving up

As life would have it, I’ve come down with a severe cold five days before I’m scheduled to move into my new apartment. My days should be full of packing and Goodwill trips and scheduling, but instead they’re full of naps and nose-blowing and sneezing and aching, aching, aching.

Most of the time I’m okay with being a single gal, but I’m never so bothered by it as when a) I have lots to do and not enough time to do it in, or b) I am sick. When one or the other of these things occur, and there’s nobody to pick up the packing slack or run to the store for hummus and feta and a Coke (oddly, the only things I want right now), my happy-independent-girl facade crumbles a bit, revealing the shoddy craftsmanship of the building underneath.

This will be the first time I’ve ever moved without a boyfriend or family member around to help me. Saying this makes me feel like I’m from the 1950’s or something, like I’m one of those women who went from their father’s house to the sorority house to their husband’s house. I’m not one of those women by any stretch, but I still feel guilty for wondering if I can get through this move without a boyfriend or a dad around.

And I feel guilty for not going to work today, and I feel guilty for not packing while not at work today, and I feel guilty for feeling guilty because I’m fucking SICK, RIGHT? I’m not supposed to do anything. But things won’t get done if I don’t do them, so I feel guilty anyway.

Recently, a friend of mine received some terrible news that has redefined (for the worse) some events that took place in the past few months. She’s been great about keeping her friends updated on the situation via e-mail and text and phone calls, and she’s been even greater about telling everyone she needs help.

I possess no such skill.  When I need help, my first instinct is to pretend like I don’t need help.  And maybe I won’t.  Maybe I can make it to the store myself, maybe I can pack everything myself, maybe I can walk to the U-Haul place and drive the stupid behemoth truck back to the apartment myself, and so forth.

But when I’m spending hour 23 on the couch next to 50 crumpled tissues and a box of Sudafed, it’s hard for me to think I can do anything at all.

8 thoughts on “good luck moving up

  1. Sorry! If I were still in Austin I’d come help!

    Post on craigslist and find someone willing to do odd jobs. I know you wouldn’t want strangers helping you pack, but you should be able to find someone willing to do the muscle work for not too much money, or even for a 12 pack!

  2. dude. if i lived anywhere within 5 to 7 hours of you (instead of 20+) i would totally be there. i’m not sure how to make chicken noodle soup without the chicken, but i’d be willing to try. also, i’m an expert packer.

  3. I don’t know if it’s any consolation, but a cold strips all of us single women to our shaky foundations. You are not alone in that.

    As for moving, it’s probably too late this time around, but my advice is to hire a moving company. Depending on how far away you’re moving and what company you use, you could spend like $250 to have someone move your stuff from point A to point B. In my experience it’s been the best money I ever spent.

  4. Does it make you feel better to know that you’ve made me feel better, simply by feeling the same way? I’ve moved far, far away recently, and although I got over my cold (that crippling beast which arrived 3 DAYS before my flight), I still can’t shake the feeling that I’m never going to be okay being this independent. For some reason, even though I can’t help you move and you can’t help me adjust, it’s nice to know I’m not alone. I hope you feel the same. Good luck to you and Maude with your move (because you’re never alone with a good dog by your side)!

  5. Don’t worry. We’ll all pitch in and it’ll get done. Do I HAVE to play you that clip from “Sex and the City” when all the girls agree that they can be each other’s soulmates?! No men required. :)

    Seriously. I’m glad you did ask for help. Nothing wrong with that.

    PS. I’m sorry you’re sick. You know, you can ask us to bring you Coke and hummus if you want to. :)

  6. Add me to the list of people who’re sorry they’re nowhere near Austin to help out. And yeah I understand not wanting to ask for help or impose on others; I’ve had to call on friends a few times for things like “hey, I feel wrong enough that I want to go see a doctor and I don’t want to drive myself,” and feeling guilty because if I didn’t need to call in an ambulance to take me to the ER, why can’t I get myself to the doctor’s office? But I know that being friends means in part helping each other, and I just have to get past the guilt of imposition. Also I’m glad to see from Billi’s comment that you did ask and you do have friends to give you a hand.

  7. I know how you feel. Being independent is good and bad. I know how hard to ask for help. I know how hard it is to be OK with needing help. But lots of people love you and want to help.

    Good luck with the move and I hope you feel better soon.

Comments are closed.