so. old.

i’ve recently noticed that my early- to mid-twenties is much more vivid in my memory than anything i’ve done in the last four years.  i know it’s a rose-colored glasses thing, but i think i also used to have more fun.  it’s time to step up the fun, people!

since turning 29 i have noticed the following things about myself:

1. my lowering metabolism.

2. my rising annoyance at the thought of having to sit in any chair without lumbar support.  is it just me, or are there more lumbar-less chairs around lately?  and who are all these oddly-shaped people who can sit in them?  are there a lot of invisible quasimodos out there?

3. my lowering tolerance for mid-sized inconveniences.  saturday morning i was at my computer when i heard a crashing noise outside, like the sound of glass breaking.  i didn’t think much of it until i took maude out a few hours later and saw what looked like the pieces of a shattered ceramic owl just a few feet from my doormat.  someone upstairs must have dropped it, i thought as i picked maude up to carry her over the shards.  they’ll be back to clean it up.

they were not back to clean it up.  in fact it’s tuesday and they still haven’t cleaned it up.  i don’t want to do it myself for fear of setting a precedent, and i can’t leave a note asking the culprits to pick it up since i don’t know who they are.  besides, any note i wrote would be very rude and would say things like, “I MAY WEAR SHOES OUTSIDE BUT MY DOG DOESN’T, FUCKERS.”

i’ll probably have to clean it up.

4. a general increase in hangovers.  i’m not drinking more than i have before, i’m just getting more hangovers.  sometimes i feel hung over even when i don’t drink.

5. my lowering tolerance for tiny, tiny inconveniences.  my new computer arrived at work today, and it’s huge and shiny with its own little remote and a screen bigger than my tv at home, but the username on it is “Allison Headley.”  i tried to change it to the proper spelling but i can’t seem to get it to stay changed.  it’s not anyone’s fault, but i still get annoyed every time i see it.  it looks like someone else’s name, and i don’t want my pretty new work computer to have someone else’s name.

6.  a sharp increase in nostalgia.  this is because a) i need to get out more often and b) it’s easier to sit around saying things were so much better back when _______ than it is to get out more often.

7.  i make more lists.