can someone buy me a powerbook and do this to it? pretty please? (via jko)
Monthly Archive for June, 2006
“Dig Me Out is one of the few records to actually make me sick; I wanted to throw up after my first listen. Inchoate, shrill, relentless, female, it turned my bowels, and I needed to adjust.” that’s not very nice.
tonight i bent down over the carpet to clean up some wine i had spilled, and then i heard a *crunch* underneath my foot. i turned around to look, and my glasses were in three plastic pieces under my shoe. my awesome greenish-brown glasses, with the green-tinted lenses, are broken. they’re broken, and it’s my fault, and how am i ever going to get glasses that cool again? i’m not, and now i’m thinking that the fact that i’m reduced to wearing my old crappy glasses from 1999 is either karma or a bad omen. you know, if i believed in such things.
at least i got the wine out of the carpet.
you know what itunes needs? a ratings system that allows for “this song is beautiful, but i never, ever want to hear it.” sometimes at work i like to play my top-rated songs on shuffle so that everything that comes up is, like, my favorite song EVAR. but i have a lot of top-rated songs that are too depressing or sentimental for everyday office listening.
so what do i do with these songs? i don’t want to give them no rating at all, because, dammit, they are FIVE STAR. but i can’t give them five stars or else they’ll creep up on me in the shuffle, and that’s like having all your most intense memories come up behind you in your cubicle and smack you in the head. which isn’t really conducive to productivity, or to your coworkers not thinking you’re insane when you get all sad for no reason. “don’t be upset,” they’d say to you. “it’s just a server error.”
but it’s never just a server error, is it?
what i’d like to have is a six-star ratings system, wherein the six-starred songs would show up when you sorted your music by highest rating, but they’d never play in shuffle mode. the six-starred songs are highly volatile, see? they’re so sensitive that they can’t be played spontaneously without risk of system failure.
you know you’re part of the group being parodied in this article when it makes you think of at least six fiona apple songs that are much better suited to wallowing.
first goatse. i love it! (this link is SFW, goatse is not.)
