this whole not-having-a-job thing is really starting to piss me off.
it’s not because of the money. well, okay, it’s not just because of the money. it does in fact suck to be completely broke all the time and to owe money all over town and in other towns, too, but i’m getting used to that. and it’s not because of the boredom, either; i’m definitely used to that.
no, what’s pissing me off is that my daily job search is starting to feel like an exercise in futility. sometimes i wonder if all those job listings are fake, if my resume submissions don’t go anywhere at all, if i’ve been the victim of an elaborate year-long prank. truthfully, i think i’d feel better if that were the case.
what’s pissing me off is this holding pattern i’ve found myself in. i can’t move backward because i’ve already been there, i can’t stay in place because i can’t afford it, and i can’t move forward because nobody will let me.
the worst part, though, is the staleness of my current existence, the staleness of the same old day over and over again. i’ve been doing this nothing for so long that it’s starting to leave a sour taste in my mouth.
i just want to get a stupid job so the stupid dog and i can move to stupid austin and live with my stupid boyfriend. why is it so hard?