i’m already insane, part two

the other day at jessica’s house i was playing with toby while jess was on the phone ordering a pizza.  when she started to recite her credit card number, i covered toby’s ears.

“you better not memorize jessica’s credit card number,” i told him.  “when she’s not home you could use her laptop computer to go online and order yourself all kinds of food and treats and toys.  that wouldn’t be a very good thing for you to do, which is why i’m covering your ears.  but hey, look!  the laptop is closed, and you can’t open it.  you know why?  because you lack opposable thumbs, toby.  and opposable thumbs are what separate man from the animals.”

toby just stared at me, as if the idea of cainine credit card fraud had never occured to him.