here’s part of an email i sent to my friend jessica:

at this point i really have no business dating anyone, which is partly because i like to be alone a whole lot more than your average boyfriend would probably be okay with.  but mostly it’s because i’m not exactly happy with my life in general right now.  i think it’s important in a relationship to be happy with yourself first, and with you and a boyfriend as a close second.  i need to work the happy-with-myself-first thing out before i date anyone.

well, i guess it’s okay to lean on a spouse more than you would a boyfriend.  i mean, i don’t think our parents made it this far together thinking of themselves first all the time.  but that’s a moot point right now, since i’m not even remotely close to wanting to be married.

i still think about the fact that, when she was my age, my mom had been married for nearly three years and was about to be pregnant with me.