two separate conversations my mother, my sister megan, and i had at dinner this evening:

mom:  let’s have this meal in honor of grandma.

me:  huh?

mom:  i think we should have this meal in honor of grandma.

me:  why would we do that?

mom:  well, that’s what i’d want if i died.  i’d want everyone to go out for a nice dinner.

me:  but there’s nothing significant about this meal.  it’s seafood.  i think instead i’ll have rolled oats in her honor.

megan:  but she hated rolled oats.

me:  i know she did.  i hate them, too.

–

me:  do you guys wanna get dessert?

megan:  let’s have pecan pie.

me:  what?  eww, no way.  we should get something chocolate.

megan:  but i don’t want anything chocolate.  i want pecan pie.

mom:  you know the best place to get pecan pie?  [names place i can’t remember].  it’s really good.  oh, it’s just to die for.

megan:  don’t say it’s to die for, mom.  if you died, you wouldn’t be able to eat it.

mom:  i guess you’re right about that.

–

goodbye, grandma.  here’s hoping that there’s no oatmeal in heaven.