9/04/2001

a better day, today.  it of course rained again, and tony, rob, shaun, and i covered our heads with damp copies of the daily cougar as we walked to lunch.  in nonfiction class, the professor took pictures of each one of us, so that she can match faces with names after the semester is over.  what sort of face do you make when you’re sitting around a table in a classroom, with your professor aiming a funsaver directly at your head as your classmates stare?

today as we skipped gingerly through the leftover puddles in the parking lot, i was telling rob about how happy i was last semester as compared to this one, a year later.  last semester, english-majory college stuff was new and exciting, all my new friends were new and exciting, my whole life was this lovely new gadget that still smelled of packing peanuts.  but now (almost) everything is the same as it was last year at this time, and it’s not much of a challenge.  london was most certainly a challenge in many ways, and i think that that brief departure from my ordinary existence has made said ordinary existence seem a little too ordinary in comparison.

i’m an insect trapped on a bed of cotton, anchored to the spot with a few straight pins.  i’m watching things happen from underneath the glass, unwilling to participate, unable to escape.