today before the british novel, i sat down on a bench outside with two girls from class.
“we’re talking about romance,” cheryl said.
“oh, which ones?” i said.
“all of them,” jacqueline replied.
“jacqueline’s boyfriend,” cheryl informed me, “invited his fiancÈe to dinner at her house.”
“that doesn’t sound very romantic,” i said.
“well,” said cheryl, “love is a many-splendored thing.”
“no, no,” i said, “love is a many-splintered thing.”

until now, i thought i had made that up, but as it turns out it’s a “chip ‘n dale: rescue rangers” episode, part of a sisters of mercy song, and a “home improvement” episode. gack. everything, it seems, is done and said and cheapened and ruined before i arrive.

but that’s okay, because rob and i made a valentine for one of our classmates, on which rob wrote: “i hope your next fortune cookie says ‘damn, i wish i was your lover’ and is so tasty.” i followed that with: “shucks! for me there is no other trident gum than yours. oh sweet delicious gum.”

and oh, how much am i kicking myself that i didn’t go to see this?