coyote ugly is probably the worst movie i have ever seen in a theater, besides batman and robin. john goodman shaking it on a bar, a leann rimes cameo at the end, and a patrick swayze cardboard cutout, does that help paint the picture? i thought it would be a fun movie about a bar, but as it turned out it was really heavy-handed, not to mention predictable and clichéd. completely excruciating. the actress playing the lead, whatever-her-name-is, seems to think that throwing her hair around and pushing her lips out as far as possible is all there is to acting. as my friend mike said afterwards, “this is what happens when jerry bruckheimer tries to make a ‘small, cute’ movie.”

speaking of jerry bruckheimer (and how often does one say that, really), there was a trailer for pearl harbor before coyote ugly. i didn’t know it was a bruckheimer-bay shindig, and after hearing that, i can’t imagine that it will be any good, considering their other fiascos. maybe aerosmith will do a song about the japanese for the soundtrack. sheesh. it’s really a shame, because the trailer itself was visually stunning, mostly because the trademark stilted dialogue was nowhere to be found. if they’ll leave the dialogue out of the movie as well, i think we’ll all be okay. pearl harbor belongs to some other director.