last night i took a brief trip to bruceville, texas to see some friends. bruceville is just outside of waco, and is made up of a gas station, a statuary, and a restaurant called “lil’ orky’s.” one could theoretically eat a grilled cheese sandwich on a paper plate and purchase a giant plaster elephant all in one trip. exciting.
it was nice to get away, though. the camp where i stayed was beautiful, with rolling hills and more visible stars than there are hairs on my head, which is saying a lot. we played cranium, a game in which i had to impersonate (hideously) marilyn monroe singing “happy birthday, mr. president.” we walked all over the dirt roads of the campgrounds at 3am, drinking bud light, in true small-town style. a nice place to visit, but i could never live there.
the drive back was good as well, as much as i love driving. there’s nothing like zipping along up and down the hills, listening to new order’s “regret,” and watching out for cops through my green sunglasses. yes, i said new order.
i’ve always felt as though most of the really big opportunities in life have been closed off for me, due to my general lack of self-confidence, not to mention my lack of motivation with regard to college and other such endeavors. oh sure, i’ve done all right so far, but i’ve definitely not had the degree of success that i would like. this is what i think about at night when i can’t sleep, and the shadows on the wall take the shapes of useless desk jobs, anonymity, and mediocrity. (don’t ask me what mediocrity looks like, dammit, it was a cheap literary device!)
but lately things have seemed different somehow, different and better. i’ve made a lot of good changes recently, and i finally have A Plan, which will be much better than my usual aimless meandering. it’s a cliché, really, but as i was driving home today with the eighteen-wheelers and cops and blue sky and hills, it felt as if the world opened up for me. screw the obstacles and the naysayers and the late-night demons. by god, i can do anything!
this will wear off by morning, no doubt.
but oh my lord, this sounds fantastic. i’ll do it if it kills me. well, if it kills me it would hardly be worth it, but that’s the point of hyperbole, eh?
