so it’s lunchtime and i don’t have any money. usually here in the office we have popcorn (the kind with enough butter to give immediate heart attacks to small rodents), but someone ate it all, so i was kind of stuck. all i had was some valentine’s candy that my friend ryan had left at my desk. so i ate that and i discovered that those little hearts with the messages go stale! it was like crunching on some chalk, and i think my teeth are broken…